some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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