party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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