Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You did what with his pubic hair?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize