I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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