Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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