garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
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I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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