how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
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he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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