If that was your dad, he is hot
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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