All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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