Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize