we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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