I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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