I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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