worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize