dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize