I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
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You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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