I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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