don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize