i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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