I love black thongs
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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