So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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