i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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