I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I have post one night stand depression
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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