so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
no you cant smoke seaweed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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