so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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