somebody snuck up and got me drunk
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize