I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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