You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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