If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
two words...techno handjob
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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