I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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