Texts From Last Night

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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.

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  (575): I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte. http://tfl.nu/ceno
  Replies (24) Good night (4154) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.

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  (336): I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm. http://tfl.nu/32ib
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (5070) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.

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  (519): and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover. http://tfl.nu/uo1b
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot

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  (770): i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot http://tfl.nu/xdnv
  Replies (27) Good night (6924) Bad night (1169) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.

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  (618): Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this. http://tfl.nu/flrg
  Replies (7) Good night (1345) Bad night (3130) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time

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  (401): Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time http://tfl.nu/icsx
  Replies (15) Good night (3911) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom

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  (925): I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom http://tfl.nu/lg7c
  Replies (6) Good night (2874) Bad night (897) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates

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  (484): scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates http://tfl.nu/oxez
  Replies (12) Good night (7060) Bad night (996) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.

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  (517): I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him. http://tfl.nu/gawh
  Replies (5) Good night (2718) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I feel like my teeth are sweating.

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  (970): I feel like my teeth are sweating. http://tfl.nu/98tq
  Replies (9) Good night (1040) Bad night (1969) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

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  (916): Sadness tears and throw up everywhere http://tfl.nu/ierj
  Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (2077) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.

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  (612): Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me. http://tfl.nu/0mf7
  Replies (6) Good night (1519) Bad night (670)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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  (775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp
  Replies (2) Good night (1126) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours

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  (503): I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours http://tfl.nu/g0b7
  Replies (4) Good night (474) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me

  (937): View more from Ohio

  And I also said, "probe me"

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  (937): I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me (937): And I also said, "probe me" http://tfl.nu/a3ve
  Replies (8) Good night (699) Bad night (335)

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