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I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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