I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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