dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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