32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
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my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
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