I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize