the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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