i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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