How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is Oprah even human
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize