Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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