I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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