hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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