I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I got inside last night via doggy door
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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