so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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