Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize