please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize