I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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