you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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