You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize