In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize