Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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